Presence Over Presents: Choosing Memory and Legacy

This year for Christmas, we chose Presence over Presents.

Choosing Presence over Presents meant slowing down, honoring memory, and focusing on connection instead of things.

Not because we don’t love giving.
Not because we don’t appreciate beautiful things.
But because this year asked something different of us.

It was a year of firsts — beautiful and bittersweet — and a year of lasts that tugged at my heart. And when life starts whispering slow down, I’ve learned to listen.

The Year That Changed How We Celebrated

This was the first Christmas we chose not to buy gifts, while still keeping our tradition of stockings. The idea came from our son, Ryan — and it was a wise one. Stripping things back created space. Space to breathe. Space to notice. Space to feel.

It was also the first Christmas without our dear Grandma Rose. My memories drift back to being a little girl, Christmas evenings at Grandma and Grandpa’s house, her meal on the table, cousins underfoot, aunts and uncles filling the rooms with laughter and noise.

Another first followed — our first Christmas without Uncle Albert. His passing just before the holidays left his family, and all of us, feeling sad and unsure of how to help. Sometimes the only thing we can offer is presence. And sometimes, that’s enough.

Honouring the Lasts Without Turning Away

There were lasts this year, too.

It’s very likely the last Christmas of my Mom’s heart-filled, love-centered baking. Her sight has deteriorated so much that baking has become nearly impossible — and that loss weighs heavily on her spirit. So we celebrated every turtle, every shortbread cookie, every caramel-covered pretzel with immense gratitude and full stomachs.

And then, the hardest one to write.

It’s very likely the last Christmas our wolf, Ramsay, will be with us. He’s 13 now, slowing down more each day. He received extra turkey, endless love, gentle hands, and constant praise. My quiet hope is that next year I’ll be sharing that he had another Christmas slice of turkey with us — but for now, it is only a hope.

Presence over Presents: Why Memory Became the Most Meaningful Gift

This year, I also gave my children their time capsules.

I’ve been building them slowly — year by year, card by card, letter by letter. Inside are calendars, magazines, trading cards, notes from friends, letters from loved ones, teachers, and coaches.

When Ryan was born, someone gave me a baby’s first-year calendar. That single gift sparked years of daily calendars for each of my children. Watching them read through their lives — first potty successes, Ryan and Callen learning they were going to have a baby sibling, sports wins, school concerts, errands with Grandma Rachel — brought tears to all of us.

Those time capsules represent a legacy I’ve built for my children.
They are as much a gift to me as they are to them.

Moments they would never remember, and moments I had forgotten, rescued from time.

Traditions That Hold Us Together

We continued a tradition we started three years ago — family paint night. This year, Adam joined us online from Australia so all seven of us could paint together. Creative. Energetic. Connected, even across oceans.

And then there are our joy jars.

Simple mason jars filled with handwritten memories — celebrations, family sayings, big milestones, and quiet moments. A walk through time. Through emotion. Through love.

Choosing presence over presents changed how we experienced the holidays, allowing us to notice what truly mattered.

Choosing Presence Is a Way of Living

I’m a sentimental girl, and I lead with my heart. Living, and being led by my heart has allowed me to create something more precious, more priceless than presents. It’s allowed me to give my family tradition, connection, memories that would have been lost.

I’ve given them presence.

Presence over Presents isn’t just how we celebrated Christmas — it’s how we’re choosing to live.

👉 If the idea of time capsules spoke to you, I’ve written a full guide on how to create one for your child — what to include, how to start, and why it matters more than you think.
➡️ Read next: How to Create a Time Capsule for Your Child (And Why It Matters More Than You Think)

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