Gen X Revisited

This is the story of a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess and a criminal. 

Wait, that’s #breakfastclub.

This is actually a story of a group of women connected by memories, laughter, love, joy and tears. 

It’s the tale of how an impromptu visit with a group of classmates became a life changer.

It started as a quickly planned get together when friend Kathy came home from Vancouver for a couple of days. Kathy reached out to see if I was available and could have a few friends over to my house for a visit.  She had a yen for smores over a campfire, so we reached out to a few ladies to pop over for dinner and a visit. 

I expected to have a nice catch up on each other’s lives and enjoy a chatty, easy evening.

All of that happened, but so much more.

Kathy and Lisa popped by a little early and we recreated one of my favourite images made when we were in grade 8 in photography class. This class, and that image were partly what ignited my passion for imagery.

The image below is a symbol of our continued friendship, connection and love for each other.

The visit started off with a tour of our school, many thanks to Tofield School and Candace Perry.  Candace very patiently let us visit every single classroom, stand in the halls recalling memories, and roam the school to see what stayed constant, marveling over all of the changes.

As this group of 50-somethings wandered the halls, the ghosts of our school aged selves walked, pranced, skipped, flirted and ran the halls with us.  I could hear our voices from back then, feel the presence of our former selves, and see us sitting in our classrooms. 

Visiting each classroom, so many memories came up, teachers were remembered, adventures and misadventures were related and traumas revisited. 

At our kindergarten classroom, I could see the castle in the corner, my classmates climbing, running and laughing.  I remember the first time I lied down for naptime on that floor with my little green pillow and floor carpet.

I remembered my first kiss in the school gym; and my second.  I remembered Denise, bumping, setting, and slamming the volleyball over the net.  She brought along her volleyball jersey and posed for a few photos in the gym, while Kathy had a quiet and introspective moment in her father’s classroom.

I remembered Karen and Lisa, painting murals and acting in the drama room, Diana with her gorgeous smile and confident, long-legged walk, Lori driving us down main street at lunchtime and Kathy’s fabulous and contagious laugh.

I remembered Tanya joining our class for a year and half, making such an impact that none of us has forgotten her and we call her friend to this day.

On a tour of our little town, we stopped by to see our favourite teacher, Mr. Allan.  This man changed lives and has generations of students who love him still, including me and my children.  At this stop – not a dry eye in the house, especially Mr. Allan’s.

We were parts of each other’s worlds for so many years; but time has a way of changing how we orbit one another, the rotations, once so small and tight, now larger and with less reach.

When we came together after so many years, that original orbit; the kind you only experience growing up in a small-town Alberta; it snapped right back into place, only tighter.  It felt incredibly easy to slip back into friendships, and it was incredible to see the same mannerisms in people that I haven’t seen in some for many years.  It was a reminder of why we loved each other way back when, and a kick in the a$$ telling us to embrace what we have together far more often.

We graduated 35 years ago, we’re women in the prime of our lives, happy, productive, and accomplished, but over the course of this visit, we all realized that we are still growing.

Conversations were incredibly vulnerable, open, emotional and raw.  As kids, we saw each other in a certain light, maybe we saw one another hurting at some point in time.  We didn’t have the life experience, the knowledge, compassion or understanding to help.  As women, we can band together, embrace our history, catch up on journeys taken since walking out those school doors, celebrate and lift each other.

As I looked at each of my friends as she shared, I felt as though a punch in the gut had landed. There was a certain knowledge that opened my eyes to the fact that, as a child; as a teenager; I had perceived each of them through my own self-absorbed angst. I envied the beauty; the athlete; the artist; the actor; the sweetheart; the outgoing; the popular, thinking that they and their lives were perfect.

I saw in myself the struggler, the hanger-on, the imperfect, the one lucky to be loved by them. What I truly didn’t realize is that each of us perceived our friends as their perfect selves in their perfect lives (and that this is also how they saw me) – but all saw in ourselves the same doubt and angst. Why it has taken me so long to realize that, I’ll always wonder.

My friends, we are all on a journey of self-discovery, and we gave each other a very precious gift on this visit.  We share a past history, at this visit we shared our recent history, now we make more history together with the knowledge that we are all the beauty; the athlete; the artist; the actor; the sweetheart; the outgoing; the popular.

Sincerely,

The Breakfast Club

Um..  The Tofield Class of 1988